On Faith and L-Plates

I failed my driving test. Yep, after 13 years of driving without any tickets or accidents, I failed the test. It seems I couldn't back around that corner well enough. And I didn't look in my mirrors enough, so they say.

I could try to blame it on the system. They claim not to have quotas for their pass/fail rate, but each examiner's rate has to be approximately at the national rate, which is about 50/50. Seems like a quota to me.

But instead I think I'll do my best to be thankful. After all, I did learn some things from this first experience with a driving test in the UK. I learned that I need to practice backing around corners. I learned that for the next test I'll need to turn my head a bit every time I look in the mirror so that the examiner can see it. And I learned that it's so much better to trust God for the outcome rather than dread the test just because I don't know what the outcome will be.

See, I scheduled the test about several weeks ahead of time. And for the first few weeks, I got scared every time I thought about taking the test. I nearly panicked. I lost sleep, paced, cried, and was just silly over it. Because if I didn't pass, our car insurance would go up by 40% and I'd have to have those silly L-plates on my car! Then I came to the end of my rope, threw my hands up, and said, "All right! This is dumb and getting me nowhere." I decided that I would just do my best on the test, and have faith about the outcome. Meaning that, whichever way it went, it would be all right, and the Koalaman and I would pull through.

Ahhhh... peace. I completely relaxed after that. I didn't lose any more sleep, I didn't panic, I didn't cry. Well, I almost cried when the examiner told me I failed. But I wasn't nervous before the test, or even during it. It felt like I was taking someone out for a drive on a sunny day in our lovely little yellow Mini. It was wonderful. And it still is! Even though I didn't pass, I learned a great thing about faith and trust. And as it turns out, the insurance did not go up by 40%, since I'm in the process of getting my license.

I firmly believe that God plans the absolute best for his children. It's up to us to take it or not. Just remind me of that next time I freak out.

First Ladies

Istanbul! The noisy, crowded, busy, dirty, exciting city that bridges Asia and Europe. The Koalaman and I were there for a four-day weekend - only enough to see a few highlights. Our first encounter with the people there was when we were going through customs on our way in. "First ladies," the customs agent said as he took my passport. We looked at each other and tried to figure out what he meant. "Pardon?" asked the Koalaman. "First ladies!" said the agent. I smiled and said, "Ladies first!"

We took the metro from the airport to the Old City section of Istanbul, where our hotel was. Or so they said. We wandered about in the rain for half an hour or so before finally locating it. We had missed it the first time by because we had our heads down away from the rain.

We spent our first afternoon in the Grand Bazaar, just trying to take all the sights and smells in. They have everything for sale there. You can buy shishas (hookahs), scarves, jewelry, belly dancing outfits, shoes, food, tea sets, typical tourist T-shirts, hand-beaten copper-ware, you name it. And that's only one bazaar in the city. There are dozens more. The Spice Bazaar is another fun and famous one, and they mostly sell (obviously) spices and Turkish tea.

The food was great. We ate baklava by the box, bought fresh rolls stuffed with interesting herbs and spices from bakeries, and pretzel-looking things from street vendors. We ate doner chicken kebaps, Turkish rice, doner beef sandwiches, and I drank Turkish apple tea. The Koalaman does not appreciate tea. At every restaurant, there were one or two cats. They would beg from the patrons and sometimes they'd get something.

On Saturday we met up with some friends who were there to run the marathon the next day. We went around to the Hagia Sophia, built 532-537AD, once an Orthodox basilica, then a Muslim mosque, and now a museum. It has a mosaic of Mary and Jesus side by side with Muslim inscriptions.

After the Hagia Sophia, we went across the square to the Blue Mosque. We were allowed to go in, but only after we were admonished to remove our shoes and advised that women should wear long skirts and a head scarf. I wore one of the provided scarves, and the experience made me very thankful, on a few different levels, that I have been blessed not to have to wear one. For one thing, just the physical annoyance of the thing was something I wouldn't like to deal with on a daily, hourly basis. And more importantly, I am so very blessed to know the God of the Bible on a personal basis, and out of choice, rather than be forced to pray to Allah because there's no other option. I was reminded every time the calls to prayer went out from every minaret in the city several times a day.

And on Saturday afternoon we all went on a tour that included a cruise up the Bosphorus River, a trip to the Spice Market, and the opportunity to go up in the Galata Tower for a view over Istanbul. We didn't go up, but spent a bit of time wandering around the shops and restaurants in the area.

Istanbul is half in Asia, half in Europe, and the next morning we got up early and got on a bus headed for the Asia side of town. We were planning to take part in a 5-mile "fun" run. Unfortunately it was raining again, and we got soaked as we headed from the bus to the start line. I think everyone in town participated in the fun run and it was a huge party atmosphere as we all started off. Lots of people were waving Turkish flags and people were running around handing out free boxes of Turkish Delight. The course took us over the bridge between Asia and Europe, over the Bosphorus River, and the view was great.

But while we were going over the bridge, there was a commotion and everyone headed to the side of the bridge. I saw a raincoat lying by the railing, and we found out later that someone had committed suicide by jumping off the 210 ft bridge. If I had been looking to my left as I went by, I would have seen it happen. Normally the bridge is closed to pedestrian traffic and there were police patrolling it to prevent this very thing, but this man was determined. It made us both feel sick.

After we finished the race, we then walked another 4 miles to the hotel. We would have taken the tram or a taxi, but the streets were closed for the marathon. We had one more look through the Spice Bazaar on our way, but we were too tired for any serious shopping. We spent the afternoon resting up, and then met our exhausted friends the marathon runners for dinner.

We spent our last morning in Istanbul at the Grand Bazaar looking for memorabilia to take home. I haggled with a shopkeeper over a beautiful velvet scarf, and the Koalaman picked out a duduk - a woodwind instrument that sounds a bit like a saxaphone, but it's smaller than a recorder. I was tempted by the copper-ware, but didn't have room for it in our luggage.

We headed home with wonderful new memories of old places.

Halfway there

I passed the theory part of my UK driving test! Fifty questions, fifty-nine minutes to complete. I took ten minutes and missed one question. Not bad! But then there was the hazard perception part where they showed fourteen video clips and I was supposed to click the mouse button when hazards "developed." They don't exactly give great instructions on this part, plus the video clips nearly gave me motion sickness, but I managed to get 61 points out of 75 possible.

That leaves only (!) the practical part of the driving test. Not looking forward to that bit. Lots of practicing to do!

North America

And so the Koalaman and I are just back from two weeks in our home countries of Canada and the United States. Unfortunately I left my camera there, so I have no photos to post as of yet. They are on their way, I promise.

But we had a wonderful time! We got on the Tube at the station near our flat and rode for an hour, then flew from London to Geneva to Montreal to Toronto, and then we got in the car and drove for about 10 hours to my parents' place. We stopped to get some sleep at a hotel in the middle of the drive. Incidentally, the stop in Montreal was a surprise to us. We bought the tickets thinking that there was only one stop in Geneva, but when we got there, the sign at the gate said, 'Toronto, via Montreal.' So at Montreal we had to get off the plane, go through customs, collect our luggage, drop it off again, go through security, and then get back on the same plane to fly to Toronto. And we were very glad we looked on the carousel for our luggage because they had assured us in London that our bags were checked through all the way to Toronto, but they were not!

Wedding preparations were going on at Dad and Mom's house. My brother got married that weekend in the backyard, and yours truly was Coordinator-In-Chief. Meaning that my job was to boss everyone around and then be picked on by my brothers for being bossy. Anyway, the wedding came off beautifully and with nice, cool weather for it. One expects heat and humidity in the Midwest in August.

Everyone started packing up and leaving at the end of the weekend, but the Koalaman and I stayed on with my parents for a couple of days. We went to the southern tip of Illinois for some walking in the beautiful National Forest there. And we ate some of the best sweetcorn in the world!

Midweek we packed up and started driving north. We stopped in my hometown so I could show the Koalaman some of my old haunts. We stopped at the house that I lived in for 23 years and the current owner let us wander around inside and all around the yard and buildings! It was so kind of him, and so nice to see the place again. We continued northward until we got to the Koalaman's sister's home. She and her family live on a boat, and we got to spend the night there before heading toward the Koalaman's mum's house.

There we spent the week visiting family, kayaking, four-wheeling, and having a bonfire. The bonfire was actually thanks to some neighbors who had set up (on my in-laws' property) several paint-balling hideouts in the form of sheets of plywood a couple of years ago. They had all fallen down and were rotting, so we collected them up into a stack and torched them. It was great fun!

Neither of us was very ready to make the long journey to come home. It was four hours of driving to get to the airport, then the obligatory two-hour wait for the flight, then the flights from Toronto to Montreal to Geneva to London, and then of course an hour on the Tube back to our flat. I was exhausted and jet-lagged, but very glad to have been able to make the trip.

I don't like fainting

I fainted yesterday. Here's the story:

I was invited back to the vet's office to help out as a receptionist while the vet and the nurse did an operation on a bunny rabbit to lance and drain a golf-ball-sized abscess on its jaw. They let me watch operations if there are no clients coming in the door and no phone calls. This was my third operation to watch - the first two were dog castrations.


***If you're likely to faint or barf while reading about a bit of blood or nastiness, stop reading now!

The vet and nurse worked together to give the bunny an injection in a vein in its ear to put it to sleep and the nurse put a gas mask over the bunny's face to keep it that way. They shaved the area around the abscess and put the drape over it, and then the vet started cutting with her scalpel through the skin and tissue toward the abscess. Eventually she got through and the pus started draining. Bunny pus is about the consistency of cheese whiz, and it's creamy colored with blood speckled in it. The vet squeezed as much of the pus out as she could, then poked around inside with Q-tips to get the last bits out. Remember, the abscess was about the size of a golf ball. She also washed inside with a anti-bacterial liquid. All this time, I was feeling fine. It never crossed my mind that I wasn't OK with any of it. I've never been the slightest bit queasy at the sight of blood or wounds, and I watched the other two operations with nary a blip. But the next thing the vet did was pull out a bit of the 'capsule' of tissue that had enclosed all the pus and she said, 'I think I want to get rid of this.'

That's when I said, 'I'm getting a bit lightheaded, I think I'll go upstairs,' and then got tunnel vision and the next thing I knew, I was waking up on the floor. The whole thing took about 15 seconds. The nurse had thankfully been right there to catch me and let me down gently.

Thankfully the Koalaman was on his lunch break and was able to come pick me up and take me back home. I spent most of the rest of the day in bed, as I was feeling wobbly and queasy.

I felt so silly about the whole thing, but the nurse and the vet assured me that it's a very common thing with newbies and that it'll probably only happen once. Sounds like most people get used to surgeries happening in front of them and have no trouble at all. I hope that's the case for me!

Customer Service, at it's finest

A few weeks ago, the Koalaman received a letter from his bank stating that they were switching to a new debit card company. I reproduce the letter here:

Dear Mr. Koalaman

Going forward first direct will be using Visa for both debit and credit cards. Shortly you'll receive you new Visa Debit card which will replace your current Maestro Debit card. Once it arrives, please destroy your existing Maestro Debit card and start using your new Visa Debit card. To make sure it's easy to recognise, your new Visa Debit card has the word DEBIT in the top right-hand corner of the card.

Your PIN number will remain the same
We have simply replaced your card, so you won't need to change your PIN number. Your card is ready to use at over 24 million outlets worldwide. You can also use it to withdraw cash from over one million ATM machines displaying the Visa logo and guarantee cheques up to £100.

Online protection
You can register your new Visa Debit card online with Verified by Visa(TM). If you've never tried this free fraud prevention service, and would like to know more, then you can register your card details online when you use a participating organisation. For more information go to www.visaeurope.com/personal/onlineshopping

If you have any further queries, please contact us on 08 456 100 100.

Yours sincerely

Jason Sharpe
Customer Services Director

Naturally the Koalaman, having a pet peeve against redundant repetition in acronyms, emailed the company about the phrases (in red above) that he found to be incorrect. "By Mr. Sharpe's reasoning," he said, "My body is made of of DNA Acid, I watch BBC Corporation television, and I live in the UK Kingdom." He also wondered why the switch to a new card had been made, as it was not explained in the letter.

A few days later, upon arriving home after a day out, we found a large box in front of our door. We opened it and found 12 bottles of wine. There was no accompanying invoice or letter of explanation, so we assumed it was a prize from one of the (many) competitions that the Koalaman has entered.

And a few more days later, the Koalaman received the following message:

To: Mr Koalaman
Re: Visa Debit

On behalf of Jason Sharpe, please allow me to respond to the points you raised in your recent communication.

first direct took the decision to change to VISA Debit cards based on the much wider coverage VISA has throughout the world. VISA Debit is recognised internationally and accepted globally. Countries such as the USA are now much better represented through the move to VISA than was the case with Maestro.

Regarding the language used in our correspondence, you are of course correct. Whilst it has become common practice for examples such as PIN number, ATM machine (and others such as ISBN number or HIV virus) to be used in everyday speech, their use in the written format should be avoided. I note with some amusement that the term describing such acronyms - Redundant Acronym Syndrome syndrome (RAS syndrome) is in fact itself a redundant syndrome and an excellent example of self referential humour. Sadly, whilst I will strive to ensure that such grammatical anomalies are removed from our correspondence, I suspect that like many things in the English language they will eventually, through everyday use, become the norm.

Thank you for your message, it did make me think (and smile), something I hope you too will be able to do when enjoying a glass of wine from the case I have asked one of my colleagues to send you.

At first direct we are passionate about providing all of our customers with exceptional service so we're fully committed to proving prompt and accurate resolutions to any complaints. If you are not completely satisfied with our response, please tell us any time within the next eight weeks. To do so, you can telephone us on 08 456 100 100, send an electronic message via firstdirect.com, or write to customer relations. Otherwise, we'll consider this matter closed.

If we can't offer you a satisfactory resolution, you can refer to the Financial Ombudsman Service (but we really do hope it doesn't come to that). Further details about how to do so and about how we respond to complaints can be found on our website at www.firstdirect.com/howtocomplain.

Thank you for taking the time to write to us.

Kind regards

Graham Smith
Head of Marketing Planning

Wow! Humor AND expensive gifts from a bank! And in response to someone pointing out errors (albiet in a funny way)!

May your bank be as nice as the Koalaman's bank!

Pets and Vets

My latest adventure is having a temporary job in a veterinary clinic. I'm the receptionist for two weeks at Pet Check Vets. It's a fairly new place, so business is a bit slow, but it's picking up a little at a time.

I'm learning a lot here! Besides the computer system and phone and fax and all the normal office stuff, I have learned how to hold a dog still so that drops can be put in its ears and how to raise a cat's or dog's vein so that the vet can take blood. I'm learning about pills and injections and fleas and ticks and worms. I've also gotten to do a little bit of creative stuff with their marketing efforts.

There is a method to my madness. I'm hoping that after this job is over, I can look around for a vet office that will take me on as a trainee veterinary nurse. I think I'll be more likely to get a position now that I can put a vet's office on my CV. (That's the same as a resume in the US) The program takes about 2 years, and it's a combination of on-the-job training and class time. I'm really excited about the chance to work with animals, as I didn't really realize just how MUCH I love animals until I didn't have any.